1. Why did you write this book?
Although, through the years, I had known Christians who had been divorced, it was never something people wanted to discuss. As a pastor, I didn’t feel I knew enough about what it was like to go through a trauma like this and I was thankful I never had to minister to others experiencing it.
As a part of my healing journey, I attended a Christian divorce care workshop where I learned that many others experienced the same things. That was helpful for me to be with people who understood. I wanted my friends and family to understand as well. I experienced feelings I never had before and often felt guilty for feeling that way, and I knew I had to work through many things. I felt like no one understood what it was like. It was painful to talk about and many people had no idea what to say or do.
Because of the divorce, I also had to give up my ministry, which felt like I was going through two divorces at the same time. After three-and-a-half months of looking for work, God opened a door for me in Christian ministry with another denomination, working in their head office. Only about 30 people were working there, all Christians from various denominations. There were three I worked closely with who had previously been divorced and were a real support to me.
It was only a few days after my ex-husband left that I wrote in my journal that I might someday write about it. I have no idea where that idea came from except God because writing about my trauma was certainly not on my mind.
However, the thought of writing never left me, and through the years, I gathered thoughts and ideas I might one day use to write about it. I had a boxful of scraps, and I planned to write about the trauma using illustrations from the Bible or other people.
I had about 75 devotionals written when I contacted a publisher. However, the publisher wanted me to write my own story. I put that idea on hold for a long time because I find it hard to talk about my private life. But the Lord started working on me, and I began writing new devotionals. Although I looked through my boxful of scraps, I hardly used any of them. While I took some thoughts from the previously written devotionals, most were scrapped or rewritten with my own story. The writing came more from my raw emotions as I remembered things that happened and as I reread my journal writings from that time.
So, the basic answer to this question is that I wanted people going through divorce to know that they are not alone in their emotions. Although the circumstances of every divorce are different, the emotional rollercoaster is much the same for those whose mate has left them. And I think, for Christians, it’s often harder because you lose your trust in people you counted on, and you wonder why God didn’t stop it from happening.
People say things like “you have to forgive him” or “it’s time to get on with your life,” not realizing that even for mature Christians, it takes time to work through all the hurt and to reach a place of healing and trust.
So, although this book is written for the Christian experiencing divorce, it’s also a book that will help family, friends, pastors, group leaders, and others know more about what the person is going through and how to better support them through it.
2. Your divorce was over 20 years ago; why did you write this now?
As mentioned, the thought of writing had been on my mind for many years, but with working full-time, it just never seemed to happen. I also had a long battle with my mind, telling me that no one would be interested in anything I wrote.
After I retired and completed most of my post-retirement contract work, the thought returned to me as I watched others I knew experiencing the trauma of divorce. God continued to speak to me, and then when the COVID pandemic hit and I was home most of the time, I felt it was my time to write. So that’s what I did!
I had to get over the thoughts of no one wanting to read my writing. Those thoughts still come back to me, but I knew God wanted it, and I turned it over to Him and said that even if it were meant only to help one person, it would be worth it.
3. How did you come up with the title, Rebuild, Restore, Renew?
Shortly after I was served with divorce papers, the president at my place of employment called me into his office and prayed with me. Then he said, “Now it’s time to start rebuilding your life.” As I got up to leave his office, my mind went back to a Bible study I had conducted many years earlier on the book of Nehemiah and the process he went through in rebuilding the walls around Jerusalem.
I re-read the story from various Bible translations and came up with the main points of rebuild, renew, and restore. Initially, I had planned to use those three main topics for the devotionals I was going to write. Also, initially, I had planned to use Nehemiah and other Bible characters to illustrate the various points I wanted to make. But then, when the publisher wanted me to write my own story, I had to rethink the entire process. However, those three words kept coming back to my mind.
While preparing to write, I noticed how Isaiah 61:4 reads in the VOICE translation. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw those three words in that one verse in a slightly different order. I knew immediately that I was on the right track for my book and chose that verse and translation as the key.
4. How can I get a copy of Rebuild, Restore, Renew?
The regular retail price is $18.99 for print and $9.99 for the ebook. It is available through Christian bookstores (ISBN 978-1-4866-2167-5) and online at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Christianbook.com, Indigo, ShoptheWord, Word Alive Press Bookstore, and Barnes and Noble, among others